


You Can Love Once Only!

by ael_ys



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: F/M, High School AU, Stoner Richie, jock Eddie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22876792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ael_ys/pseuds/ael_ys
Summary: On Monday, early in the morning, Richie and Eddie talk to their own best friend about their fateful uncounter with one another. Little do they know that in one week, their lives would have become considerably different as the fondness in their hearts brings them closer.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 3
Collections: One Week To Fall In Love!





	1. Monday, morning

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings! (applies to the whole series)  
> Crude Language  
> Drugs, Alcohol, Addiction  
> Cancer  
> Abuse (mention of)

Richie blankly stared at the perfectly applied nail polish on Beverly’s hands, he hadn’t move for a while and his mouth started to water. He was always in awe of the girl and if her hands looked this perfect every day now he would not be able to handle it. He heard her extinguish the spliff they had been sharing and suddenly he felt himself come to life again.

“Hey, have I told you how I met the love of my life earlier in the week?”

Beverly hummed something as she fought with the blanket to find a better position. He interpreted that reaction as a no and proceeded to tell the story.

“It was earlier in the week...”

“No shit!”

He groaned and shushed the girl. Her eyes slowly turned to him as she dodged a gentle slap. 

“You’re an aggressive asshole.”

“Listen to me woman, he groaned a very obviously fake posh accent, and you will then be allowed to talk back.”

She giggled and stood up, barely managing to not fall down from the dizziness which followed the sudden movement. Her dress was badly put, he could see part of her bra, it was white and looked comfy.

“Munchies, she mumbled as an explanation before running away from the bedroom.”

Richie sighed. He was hungry too. Maybe he should have asked her to bring him a bit of food. He looked toward the boy sprawled on the carpet. If he recalled correctly his name was Connor. He was cute but Richie’s heart had been captured by the sweetest person he ever looked upon. His own little angel.

“Here you go dumbass!”

He felt a bag of food land on his back. 

“Shoot, I aimed for the head, Beverly sighed.”

He grabbed it and smiled: barbecue flavoured chips, his favourite snack. Maybe Beverly could be the love of his life in the end?

“You are forgiven for being annoying before and are now my best friend. But please, come next to me and actually try to listen a bit to me. I don’t have any other friend who are willing to hear me talk about me being struck by Cupid’s arrow.”

She tried to smile through the pain. She hated it. He was going to “fall in love” and get hurt again and she didn’t want him to be unhappy again because his love wasn’t real. Not after last time.

“Okay Richie. I promise I will listen to you. But be quick. I have class in three hours and I want to sleep for at least one hour.”

“Well you look like crap so you ought to get your beauty sleep.”

She hit his shin with her foot.

“Continue to talk ‘bout my face and you’ll die.”

He laughed and grabbed her hand to pull her into bed with him. Her nails were truly ravishing today he thought as he let her go. He opened the bag of chips and started talking while eating.  
“I was running late to my next appointment so I started to walk really quickly and while I was looking at my watch I got distracted and bumped into someone. He dropped all of his school stuff. I felt so bad for him but I was in a hurry so I just blurted out sorry and left.”

“Wait, You didn’t even help him pick his stuff up?”

“No, I didn’t, I was running so late, you would have killed me if I had to met you and I got there so late. Anyway do you want to know what he looked like?”

“Yes. Please, do tell.”

“He is a bit smaller than you I think but he looks pretty strong. He has a very clean haircut and his hair is brown like the wooden benches of the park near your place. His eyes are this dark colour that remind me of last summer when we went camping and made a small fire.”

The bag was now empty and his stomach started to growl even though he had eaten all of the chips. Beverly still had chocolate but Richie knew she was on her period and she would want to have some chocolate to forget about the cramps. 

“I want to smoke, he settled on saying, I will go outside.”

“You can do it here. We did before.”

“Bev, I don’t even know who’s house we’re in. I won’t smoke in here, not if you don’t.”

She nodded and let him slide out of bed. He couldn’t find his shoes but it was too chilly to leave without shoes on so he took Connor’s. They were too large and as he walked down the stairs they made a lot of noise. Downstairs very few people were still up. Richie ran into a couple making out, he apologised and hurried away. 

He sat on the stairs of the porch. He should have taken a coat too. The wind and the quietness of the early hours of the day enveloped him. He looked at the stars, they would soon begin to disappear. He rummaged through my pockets and miraculously found a cigarette and a lighter. He also found a card. Two of heart. Lipgloss stained the card, making it shiny. He sneered.

“Hello.”

He looked up to find a girl he had seen a few times in between the corridors of their school. She was wearing high heels which looked more like a torture instrument than actual shoes and her makeup was smeared from what could either be crying or falling into the pool. 

“Hi, Greta is it?”

“Yup. Greta. Listen, I really need a smoke or pills, whatever. Do you have something for me?”

“Go meet Marsh. Second door in the right upstairs.”

She politely nodded and went inside. As she walked past him Richie smelt how much she drank. He had never met someone with such a strong alcohol smell. He hoped she was going to be okay. 

He finally put the cigarette in his mouth and lighted it. He stayed outside for a few minutes. When he entered back he stole some snacks from the kitchen. In the process he almost knocked over some pricey looking bottles of wine but somehow managed to be his hands in check.

“Hey, I am back, he said when he entered the room, with snacks.”

Beverly did not stir. She probably fell asleep or was trying to. He smiled and took his shirt off only to throw it over some chair, Connor’s shoes went back to their owner. He went to bed and put the blankets over them. He stared at the ceiling.

“You know why I think he is the love of my life? When I walked away he fucking screamed at me. He got so mad, his face went red. He spoke so fast. I thought he was going to die. How can a small boy like him breath so little? And I was hurt in awe of this cute boy and the only thing I could think was that I wanted to protect him. Protect him from what?”

He laughed bitterly.

“I am stupid.”

He felt Beverly’s hand move a bit. She blindly tried to reach for his cheek and somehow ended up touching his shoulder. 

“‘Tis okay. ‘Tis okay. I love you...”

“I love you too Bev. Sleep now.”

She turned around. Soon her breathing became steadier and she finally relaxed herself. Richie could not sleep. He barely slept lately and he knew it was getting worse and worse as the days went by but he fell asleep in class today, which led him to be late and meet his future husband so his insomnia was not all that bad.“For real, Mike managed to huff through his breathlessness.”

Eddie looked ready to explode either from anger or from lack of air; Mike could not really tell which one but maybe it was something else.

“Yeah! What a fucking dumbass. He stared at me for ten seconds straight and then ran away. That was so creepy. Like, his eyes were red, I strongly believed he was sick but really he might just be one of those stoners. Plus his hair was a mess and there was drool, real drool, on his face.”

Mike nodded. Eddie was talkative, he was used to it: they had been running and training together for a few years now and he often listened to Eddie’s rants but he still could not believe the small boy could speak so much after having run over five miles.

“His hair was cute though. It looked a bit curly and was shiny.”

Mike glanced at his friend. His cheeks had turned a bit red. It was unusual of him to point out a fact such as the curls in a boy’s hair, or in anyone’s hair really. 

“Really?”

“Yeah! Maybe if we see him again I can show you who he is.”

Mike nodded. He looked at his watch. It was around seven to ten. He had to get going soon if he wanted to get to school on time. He still had to shower and get a new set of clothes, besides he was pretty sure his grandpa would need a hand.

“Eddie, I have to go. Are you still okay to grab lunch together before training?”

Eddie slowed down to allow his friend to breathe. His face quickly went back to its original lighter colour. 

“Yes. I want to eat an ice cream!”

Mike chuckled and used his shirt to wipe off some sweat off his face. They had eaten ice cream the week before already, and probably twice the week before. It was probably Eddie’s favourite food, maybe after spaghetti.

“Again? We already went not so long ago. Wait. Didn’t you go with your family yesterday too! You’re taking advantage of my kindness!”

“I am, he laughed, I got caught. Sorry Mikey. Hope we’re still friends. I mean if you want to eat more of my mom’s cooking we have to be.”

Mike stopped and put his hand over his chin to mimic someone in deep concentration. Eddie who had stopped a bit farther away started pouting to hide how amused he really was of his friend goofing around. 

“You don’t deserve my love Mike.”

Mike ignored him and finally started walking again this time without even waiting for Eddie. The small boy ran after him, his face still covered by an obvious annoyance. 

“I decided, Mike said, that you are allowed to get some more ice cream but in exchange I want to eat Sonia’s delicious food. Is Friday night okay?”

“I guess. Anything for ice cream!”

Eddie paused for a moment. His face had become nicer, less aggressive. He played with his shirt which was too big for him, he seemed almost anxious.

“I will have to ask my dad... I don’t know if he is feeling any better.”

Mike grabbed his friend shoulder. Life had been hard for the Kaspbraks since they had learnt about Mr. Kaspbrak’s cancer. Eddie did not often talk about it but Mike knew he was affected by it, more than he let out.

“Of course. By the way, have you guys been to the restaurant he wanted to go to? The Cornelia or something?”

Eddie looked a bit distracted as they continued to chat about nothing and everything at once. Mike barely got anything out of him, just that he was tired, more than usual. When they reached the crossroad where they usually separated Mike gave Eddie his water bottle back.

“Thanks for lending it to me.”

Eddie nodded and they said their goodbyes. Eddie slowly walked back home, hoping to not get there early enough to have to talk to his parents. Lately his father looked so weak. He knew he should have been grateful that the three of them were still together but his heart broke every time his eyes met his father’s. 

“I’m back, he yelled from the doorway.”

He almost walked in without taking his shoes off but his mother’s voice reminded him to not enter the house with his dirty sneakers. He heard a cough, familiar and painful. He quickly ran upstairs, grabbed clean clothes for school and a set of sport wear for the afternoon training. Sonia came upstairs and stood by the doorframe.

“Eddie, love, can you please bring the neighbours some leftovers on your way to school? I have to leave now.”

“Sure Mom. Will do.”

Sonia smiled as she looked at her son dancing around his room to make sure he was ready for school. Eddie finally sure that he had the right books for the right classes closed his bag and took all his stuff outside.

“Kiss, he said as he gave a quick peck to her rosy cheek, See you tonight.”

“Wait young man, don’t run from me! Do you have training?”

“Yup. But only in the afternoon, I’ll be back before dinner and my homework will be done so if you need me to help out I can.”

She smiled and kissed him goodbye. He got in the bathroom and showered. By the time he was done his father had left the kitchen. He looked through the cabinets and found a few snacks he could eat. He put his water bottle in the sink and left a note on the fridge to remind himself he had to wash it when he came back. He drank his usual morning tea and ate an apple. Before he left he used the landline telephone to make a call.

“Hi, he said hesitantly, it’s Eddie. I wanted to know if you’re okay, you haven’t talked to me in a while. Anyway my mom has made too much food again, she probably does it on purpose by now. So… I’ll swing by later to check on your parents. Bye.”

He sighed. Oh, how life was difficult.


	2. Monday, morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly Marsh is a good friend but her demons are always lurking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warnings: (always the same I guess)  
> Abuse  
> Alcohol, Drug, Addiction  
> Swearing  
> Cancer

Beverly tried to tie her hair for the fourth time in a row before giving up. It was starting to grow long again and it bothered her when it got in her eyes. Stanley stared at her in silence. They scarcely talked to one another usually but she knew he was a reliable source of information and that’s all she needed for the time being.

“Try to guess why I called you here today, she joked while she climbed up the small wall they met up next to.”

He gave her a spliff and a smile. She accepted the former and let him light it up. They had not done this often, being nice to one another, but she felt like he also had things to ask her on that day. She was curious about what it was, or who it was, that had moved the serious guy.

“Marsh, do you really expect me to know why the fuck you’re coming to me?”

His usual sarcastic tone led to the apparition of a wicked smile of the girl’s lips. Stanley immediately regretted saying this: if he spoke daggers, her breath eradicated every single living being in the solar system.

“Oh dear. Stanny boy, don’t think too highly of yourself. You probably know it, since you’re a noisy ferret.”

He giggled. Had she gone soft or was the matter really that important that she surrendered? She blew the smoke in his face, he waved his hand around to get the smoke out of his face. The stench would probably stick to his body for the whole day.

“Is it about the fact that your dearest friend fell in love again?”

Beverly’s smile faded, instead her face was covered by a thin veil of pain.

“It’s going to be different this time. I can feel it. I just need you to help me out a little. I am willing to do anything you want in return.”

Stanley examined his nails, looking for any trace of dirt. Obviously he would find a way to make fun of her, he was Stanley Uris. What a fucking dickhead.

“Stanny boy. Don’t be jealous, answer me.”

He looked up at the intense eyes glaring at him. He was too playful about the matter and it made her anxious. She needed him to be serious because if Richie ended up hurt she would not be able to pick him up.

“Marsh, you have information I need. I will help you but you will need to help me even more, and not ask for anything in return because I can’t afford to owe anything to you. That’s really not an option for me.”

“Oh, I see... So you really do plan on staying an outsider. A little involvement with me is already a bit too much, isn’t it?”

She realised the spliff had become so short she would probably end up burning herself soon. She jumped on the floor, dropped it and used her shoe to put it out. Stanley saw her move and thought she tried to leave. He grabbed her wrist but she shock him off and stared at him with her knitted eyebrows.

“Do not do that, she screamed, I am not kidding. Do not fucking to that.”

Beverly tried to calm herself down. She was freaking out. On her neck she felt the hot hand of her father, slowly applying more pressure on her skin. She knew it was going to become red, as red as her hair. She knew she was becoming her mother for a short while and that she hated that, she hated feeling his breath on top of her. She really hated that.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I really need you. I need you Marsh. Please stay.”

He took a few steps back and slowly raised his hands in the air as if she was a cop trying to arrest him. She felt like he brought her back to earth, she was here with Uris, not her father. Just Stanley Uris and her. Not her father. Not my father she told herself to calm down.

“I don’t feel inclined to. Maybe if you hadn’t tried to restrain my movements I would feel safer being here with you.”

His hands slowly fell down to his sides. He frowned, something was wrong and he had to make her feel safe.

“Beverly. I’m sorry. I won’t do this again.”

She breathed in and out. Her face looked tense, she had bitten her lips and they were a bit moist. Her eyes looked almost as moist and Stanley really hoped she would not cry because he could handle everything but tears.

“I am sorry. I do not want to hurt you, I seriously would be so fucked up if I did try to hurt you.”

She smiled. Her face looked dark.

“Trust me, you wouldn’t.”

He shrugged, being nonchalant was the best answer probably. He had no reply to give so why give one. Instead he decided to give her what she came here for.

“Eddie Kaspbrak. That’s the name of Tozier’s lover boy.”

“Wow, wow, wow, she interrupted him, calm down Stanny boy, giving nicknames is my talent, don’t take it from me.”

He laughed, for once very genuinely, his laugh was a bit weird. It sounded like the whistling of a pressure cooker with was endearing but disturbing coming from unemotional Stan Uris.

“And, who is that Eddie Casapark then?”

“Kaspbrak. Eddie Kaspbrak. He is in our grade. I am surprised you don’t even know who he is because he is well known for being a decent runner. He is part of track club and has probably one of the best times in school.”

“Wait, isn’t he that small boy who is often with Mike?”

“If you’re talking about Mike Hanlon then yes.”

“Man, if only I had known. Maybe Richie can actually score for a change!”

Stanley smiled. She was a caring person, always looking out for her friends without losing her usual humour and detachment. Sometimes he wished he could have friends, people like her with whom he could share his own woes.


	3. Tuesday, lunchtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie is having a hard time not blushing. Maybe people will mistake it as tan? PS: Is murder legal if someone teases you for having a crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The usual warnings apply:  
> Swearing  
> Abuse  
> Alcohol, Drug, Addiction  
> Cancer  
> ...

Eddie disinterestedly played with his spoon. He pretended to throw something behind him and answered:

“What for? Have you seen how close he is to that girl. They haven’t taken their eyes off each other since we got here. And god, have you heard him laugh? He might as well hump her on top of the benches and it would be the same.”

Mike put two of his fingers in his mouth and mimed puking to make fun of Eddie’s comment.

“Gross. Say it, you want to be the one humped by him and the one he laughs with.”

Eddie’s face became deformed by disgust. Mike thought to himself that the boy in front of him looked like a pig, he had even taken the right shade. 

“I don’t want to be humped by anyone. And I’ll let you know that I am never the bottom!”

“‘Cause you never had sex, Mike interrupted.”

This time Eddie looked really pissed so Mike decided to actually be helpful and not mock him any more than necessary, no matter how fun it was.

“That girl, she’s Beverly Marsh. If you came to the parties we organise you would know her, she provides the boys with drugs.”

“Mike... You, well, how can I say this? You don’t take or smoke or do whatever the fuck you do with drugs?”

“Are you crazy? I would never do anything of the sort! You would kill me before I would anyway.”

Eddie smiled, it was very true. He didn’t have a lot of friends and losing one wasn’t an option. Mike has always been here for him, it wasn’t today that he would start to try to get rid of him. 

“So, Marsh and him are probably fucking, is what you’re thinking but what I think, Mike declared, is that you’re trying to convince yourself to not say anything when you’re very obviously infatuated with him for some obscure reason which seems deeply rooted to his, I quote, curly, shiny hair.”

Eddie buried his face in his hand as he heard Mike chuckle. Would the teasing stop one day? He had guessed it wouldn’t but a small part of him still hoped he could at least get away with it today, especially since it was the first time he felt something like that.

“Michael, I do not approve of our friendship anymore. Go away.”

Mike started to clean up the table, he grabbed his bag and the waste that he threw in the bin. Eddie who had kept his hands over his face finally looked around himself. He realised Richie Tozier was looking at him. His blush got even worse.

“Mike, wait for me you dickhead, he yelled a bit too loudly which made Richie smile and laugh after he whispered something in the ginger girl’s ear.”

When he managed to catch up with Mike he could still feel the warm blood in his cheeks.


	4. Wednesday, afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie stumbles upon a certain someone and somehow ends up flirting with this person. Even he is surprised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same warnings? I guess:  
> Drug, Alcohol, Addiction   
> Abuse  
> Violence   
> Swearing

Richie was tired, he had had to listen to his father’s nagging for a few minutes before his mom had taken him to the library where he was supposed to get “a fucking education and not waste your god damn brain” which was not a tasked he planned on succeeding in.

He walked through the shelves. Beverly has talked him into reading this feminist book and now he wanted to read more of this author. She also jokingly told him to read a poem but he couldn’t quite remember which one so he had given up looking for it.

When he went to sit after having taken a book he noticed a familiar face. He smiled as he walked over the small, neat boy captivated by his reading: Chemistry, exercises.

“Hi, you’re Eddie Kaspbrak, aren’t you?”

The boy almost jumped when he heard Richie’s voice. He definitely did not expect him to be here. He dropped the book and turned bright red as he tried to find the page he had been reading.

“Yeah, thanks for the scare Tozier.”

“You’re welcome my dear.”

Richie sat opposite to Eddie. He put his head between his arms on the table and stared at the feral creature he considered to be the love of his life.

“I am glad you know my name, he dared to say with a smug smirk on his face, but soon it will be something else so you might as well call me Richie.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. He wished the boy would stop getting on his nerves. How could someone be so beautiful and so annoying at the same time? He really wished Richie would shut up and he tried not to think about kissing his trash mouth to make him quiet.

“Why are you not going to be called Tozier anymore, he asked while trying to look indifferent by burying himself deeper in his homework.”

“I was planning on getting married, maybe I could change it to Kaspbrak–Eddie went bright red– I am sure Mrs. K won’t say no.”

Richie did not see Eddie’s hand coming but he surely felt the slap he was given. He let out a little gasp.

“Don’t you dare complain. You deserved it.”

Richie let out a little laugh as he put his hand over his cheek. He did not look very strong but Eddie was tough. Wentworth Tozier should have taken notes. Now that he had been slapped by Eddie, Richie did not fear his father’s wrath. He could handle a bit of yelling and an occasional punishment.

“Damn… I didn’t know you wanted to touch me so badly Kaspbrak–he emphasised this last word– I would have let you do anything if you did ask.”

Eddie frowned. He had hoped one slap would have been enough to calm the boy down but apparently it hadn’t.

“Come here then.”

He moved a little over the side, leaving just enough space for the boy to sit. Richie’s face went from surprise to happiness in a few seconds as he hurriedly sat next to Eddie. He had a stupidly wide grin with rested on his arms as he sprawled on the table. 

“What a baby, Eddie laughed.”

Richie did not answer to the jest instead he just looked up at the small boy and stared. Eddie felt his eyes scrutinising every inch of his face. His blood rushed to his face and he really hated Richie for making him blush so much. He tried to focus on the equation he had in front of him.

“It’s wrong, Richie stated.”

Eddie looked at the boy then back at his equation. He tried to do it another time to find where he had made a mistake but he couldn’t. With regrets he finally accepted, after a long internal fight, to ask Richie for an explanation.

“What is wrong?”

“Give me your pen.”

Eddie reluctantly lent his pen to Richie, he knew he would never get it back but he could always steal it back. Richie’s explanation was clear, Eddie was surprised Richie was even able to understand it that well.

“Thanks. That’s… Very helpful.”

“Anything for Eddie Spaghetti.”

Eddie’s brain froze for a second. 

“For what now?”

“Eddie Spaghetti.”

Eddie got up and started to walk away. Richie chuckled and caught up to him. He leaned close to his ear and whispered in it with the most awkward attempt at having a suave voice:

“You forgot your textbook. Maybe we can get it and grab something to eat–Eddie hated how his voice sounded so alluring– and I can bring you back to Mr and Mrs Kaspbrak house. How does that sounds Eds?”

Eddie pushed the goofy face away from his own with his hands in lieu of a shield. 

“How about you call me by my name and go back to your redhead friend?”

Richie tried to grab Eddie’s hand but he received a gentle hit on the palm when Eddie saw him try to do it. Instead Eddie decided that holding the bottom of his dumb flowery shirt was a better way to make him follow. Richie smiled. He let the boy led him through the high shelves.

The library was so quiet at this time of the day. It was peaceful, most patrons were sitting and focused on their books. It felt like the whole scene was set for them to be together and for a short instant Richie thought about how it felt like the perfect moment to kiss Eddie.

“Check out this book for me and I’ll let you walk me home, Eddie ordered, please.”

Richie leaned in close enough to really get a good look at his eyes. They were brown, just like his own but they captivated him in a way he had never experienced. He wanted to jump into them, drown in them. They made him think of hot coffee on a Sunday morning, he felt like if he looked long enough in Eddie’s eyes he would end up in bed, comfortably laying there feeling the warm kisses of the sun. 

“Rich?”

Richie giggled as he snapped out of his fantasy.

“I thought you didn’t want me to give you a nickname.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t give you one.”

Eddie flinched when Richie’s hand brushed his face. He took a step back. 

“So can you check it out for me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Also Wentworth Tozier isn’t supposed to be abusive, he just got mad and yelled but Richie did not get hurt)


	5. Night between Wednesday and Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie has always been an only child but Beverly changed this fact and now he is trying to care for the sister he has made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings stay the same:  
> Drug, Alcohol, Addictions  
> Abuse (more developed in this chapter)  
> Cancer  
> Swearing  
> ...  
> (Honestly at this point I gave up trying to remember which warnings I put)

Richie woke up to Beverly’s crying and sobbing. He sat, fought his way through the sheets of his bed and finally found her arm. 

“Bev, Bev. Beverly Marsh!”

He shook her and she grabbed his thigh, scratching it in the process. She sat up, her eyes wandered around the room as she struggle to understand what was happening.

“For fuck’s sake Richie!”

Her breathing was ragged. Richie brought her close to him in a hug.

“It’s going to be fine, I swear.”

She pushed him away with force. After getting slapped by Eddie nothing could compare but Richie knew better than angering his friend. He tried not to focus on the small glimmer on the corner of her eyes and ignored the fact that she had to wipe them. 

“I am fine. Why did you wake me up?”

“You did not seem okay…”

“Well I am, she interrupted, so fuck off, will you?”

He went back under his blankets, still listening, still looking, still caring for her. She stayed sat in the middle of the bed for a few minutes, her head turned toward the scarce light coming through the panes. She was silent and something about the scene brought a melancholic feeling in both of their hearts.

“Hey, she murmured, sorry for snapping at you. You know how I can be a bit of jerk.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not! Nevermind... Tell me about your lover boy. I want to think of something happy and hearing about that lover of yours is just what I need.”

“You mean Eddie?”

Beverly giggled, she shrugged and rested her head on Richie’s stomach.

“Well, unless you have another lover I don’t know of I am talking about Kaspbrak.”

Richie sighed. He gently let his fingers run through Beverly’s curls.

“He is amazing. His laugh is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard and it’s hard to even understand how that angelic sound can be produced by the same throat that yelled “Tozier you fucking dumbass, give me my fucking book back”. Also he may have tried to strangle me. But I kind of deserved it.”

“Oh my god, Bev said in the flattest voice he ever heard, oh wait, am I really supposed to be surprised? I mean, I had hoped you would have waited for the first date to mention your kinks but you do you I guess.”

Richie sighed and pushed Beverly off of him. 

“Don’t make fun of me.”

He hesitated to voice the thought that filled his mind since he had stumbled upon Eddie at the library. He knew he could trust her but he did not want to tell her what they had talked about when they walked to the Kaspbraks’.

“I am so whipped. I mean, he could put a collar on me and I wouldn’t really mind and that’s pretty fucked up right.”

Beverly could not find the words to answer, the truth was that she was flabbergasted. She knew when Richie loved he loved a lot but his confession was still a lot to take in.

“It’s, I guess it is weird, yeah. You’re a fucking weirdo Richie. But, you don’t know if you’re in love unless you become a dumb slave of love so I guess I can see why you wouldn’t mind him handling you.”

“That’s gross. I don’t want him to handle me. I want him to hug me and hold my hand below a dining room table. And I want him so send me letters when he is away. I want him to call me everyday to tell me about his training. I want to go get ice cream on my way home with him. I want to cook on a Friday evening and end up burning our dinner because I got distracted by how his legs are nimble and dainty.”

The room stayed silent for a few minutes before Richie turned around to see if Beverly had fallen asleep. When he met her eyes he saw tears flowing out of them like small waterfalls. 

“Oh. No. Shit. Ah, shit! Please don’t cry Bev!”

As Richie panicked, Beverly tried to find it in her to smile but it was hard. It was hard to even imagine smiling again after realising how broken she was.

“Shit Bev, come here.”

He opened his arms and she let him have this overdue hug.

“Sorry, she said in between sobs, I didn’t want to bother you but I feel so bad lately Rich…”

He stroked her hair. It was the first time he saw her in such a state. He had taken care of her when she was sick, when she was too high to function, when the alcohol in her body got the better of her, he had made her smile when she broke up for the first time but he had never seen her bawl her eyes out, he had never seen her trembling in fear, he had never seen her remembering her father’s touch.

“Bev, it’s going to be okay.”

Beverly opened her mouth, ready to answer when they heard a knock on the wall, followed by Maggie Tozier’s voice:

“Darlings, can you be a little more quiet so that we can actually try to get some sleep? Also Bev I love you. Richie you’re alright I guess.”

Beverly giggled, she wiped her tears and put her index finger in front of her mouth to tell Richie to be quiet. They quickly buried themselves deep in their covers. 

“Hey Bev.”

“Yeah?”

“Maybe I should ask him out on a date?”

“Maybe.”

“I won’t.”

“Why?”

He laughed and another knock was heard:

“Richard Wentworth, will you please be quiet, his father hissed.”

“But Dad, he yelled, Beverly is talking too!”

“Yeah, well, at least Beverly tidies the room up, Maggie replied.”

Beverly smiled as Richie frowned.

“Thanks Mrs Tozier!”

“Now kids, quiet.”

Richie turned in his bed. He could feel Beverly’s back against his. He wondered what it would feel like sleeping next to Eddie. His head almost exploded when Eddie had hugged him goodbye after they reached the house so he could barely consider staying alive if they got any closer.

“I can’t ask him to go on a date with me because I’m a coward, he mumbled to himself.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to be updated on the series, please follow @ael_ys on twitter!


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